Inferiority-complexes in partnerships and relationships

Everybody has a bad day occasionally, everything goes wrong, nothing succeeds, it literally would have been better to have stayed in bed in the morning. However, if feelings of unworthiness accompany you permanently and are constantly nourished by the need to get recognition, we speak of inferiority-complexes. If a person begins to believe that he or she is incapable of doing certain things in life, that he/she will always fail anyway, and if he/she then does not muster sufficient willpower to fight these negative thoughts, the result is a psychological state of anxiety. One humiliates oneself and because of this psychological condition finds oneself relatively quickly in a self-fulfilling downward spiral.

During the otherwise magical process of building an amorous relationship, inferiority-complexes can very quickly turn into a problem for any couple. But how exactly can a lack of self-esteem negatively affect relationships and how can it be counteracted?  This is what is discussed in this blog.

When one partner in the relationship feels inferior, he inevitably tends to become possessive. Why? Because he cannot imagine that his girlfriend or boyfriend would want to stay together voluntarily. This distorted self-awareness puts a strain on every relationship and prevents it from developing naturally. The fear of being abandoned sabotages the relationship before it has even begun to grow and flourish. In other words, the partner who feels inferior is already preoccupied with the end before the relationship has really started.

Feelings of rejection are relatively common for a partner who suffers from inferiority complexes. He is certain that no matter what he thinks, believes, does, or how he behaves, he will eventually be rejected for his true “self.” This self-humiliation demoralizes a person to such an extent that a relationship can be ruined at an early stage, since the other person is not given a real opportunity to fall in love.

A classic example is a couple who have a similar profession but work in different positions and pay grades. For example, a senior physician and nurse, department head and clerk. If partner in the “lower” position suffers from inferiority complexes, feelings of threat, inadequacy and insufficiency demoralize him. He lacks the perception that he is a actually valued, desired and loved for the person he truly is. He is convinced to have failed which makes him unattractive puts a strain on any relationship.

Downright denial is also a common feature amongst people suffering from a distorted personality. Admitting to the outside world, especially to your partner, that you feel inferior is difficult. Not everyone can accept this fact, and even if they did, revealing it would be a humiliation. If the partner or spouse knows about it, it can lead to further problems in the relationship.
Sincerity, mutual understanding, respect for the partner and support in times of need are basic building blocks of any long-term, stable relationship. If a partner does not ask for help and is not willing to accept it, this will undoubtedly lead to irreparable distance in the relationship.

Lack of self-confidence and a low sense of self-worth go hand in hand with inferiority complexes. Generally, a person suffering from this condition may appear fearful or shy. Social withdrawals out of fear of negative judgment and frequent comparisons with other people are common traits of this condition. In a relationship, this generally leads to the inability to express one’s true feelings of love.

If one or more of these scenarios occurs in a relationship, problems are inevitable. Relationships are fragile – they require constant care and attention. A relationship in which either partner puts in a disproportionate amount of effort is one-sided and is doomed to fail in the long run. In truth, every person on this planet has one or more problems with themselves, their life and love. However, if these problems are not admitted and addressed, the effects can prevent positive development.

So, what now? The first step is to recognize and accept that you suffer from inferiority complexes. The next step is to find a way of overcoming and healing. Since the cause usually lies in the psychological depths of each individual, the effects can be reduced, but fundamental healing usually requires intensive work and attention.

How to overcome inferiority complexes in relationships?

If lasting results are to be achieved to overcome this condition, heartfelt efforts are required. The road to recovery requires determination and willpower. Like any other endeavor in life to find the right path and improve from within, overcoming complexes and their causes requires discipline and perseverance. In many cases, setbacks must also be endured – it’s no coincidence that there’s a saying which goes “sometimes you have to take one step back to take two steps forward”. Ultimately, every psychological healing process is a journey through the inner “self”, with all its surprises, dark and bright sides. But it’s worth it because a healthy psyche is as vital as breathing.

Of course, positive thinking helps. Negative, self-deprecating thoughts can be recognized as such, but the really important action is not to give them any attention or relevance. This way, a negative thought spiral can be interrupted before it picks up speed. Of course, there are also times when no amount of positive thinking will actually help. The first step, as mentioned, is to accept the problem. Each person is unique and has individual values, upbringings, performance levels, mental and physical characteristics. Perceptions of success, defeat and disappointment are subjective. However, this does not mean that one person is inferior or superior to another. Classifications of “winner” and “loser” are counterproductive. Inferiority complexes are mental disorders that require systematic, professional help. The step of asking for help does not mean that the person is inferior, but that they can admit the problem and are strong enough to address it with full willpower to turn their life and partnership around.

Small setbacks are not uncommon in a relationship where one partner suffers from inferiority complexes. But by addressing the problem, the couple can grow closer than before and as a result strengthen their relationship. Interactions and constructive communication between two lovers is refined by the healing process – the thought of being inferior refutes itself, because the inner and true “self” of the partner has been explored. It is the belief and self-confidence in oneself, in the partner and in the relationship that will improve the dynamics between any couple.

CONCLUSION:

Persistent self-deprecation and feelings of subordination are common signs of underlying inferiority complexes. Lack of self-confidence and a low sense of self-worth go hand in hand. This psychological anxiety state can ruin any relationship through possessive actions and feelings of rejection. The most important steps are admitting the condition and mustering all the willpower and perseverance necessary along the road to recovery. It is often advisable to seek professional help and guidance throughout this process. Always stay positive and focused on the many bright sides of life.