How does the appearance of a person influence the choice of a partner and a potential love relationship?

Since attractiveness and beauty are always in the eye of the beholder, each person perceives each feature attractive to a different extent. Every person has attractive sides, they just need to be recognized. Although visual attractiveness and appearance can play a role in choosing a partner, they are not necessarily the most important factors for a potential mate. Basically, certain physical features are perceived by us humans as more attractive than others (this also has a lot to do with our socialization). Therefore, a certain physical attractiveness plays a role for most people who want to enter into a love relationship. As mentioned above, the characteristics that determine “attractiveness” and “appearance” have changed over time – they can depend on the era, culture and person. “Appearance” itself need not refer exclusively to the features of the body. Personal style, posture, or hygiene can also be considered attractive. Moreover, a person can also be considered attractive irrespective of physical features, e.g., through character strengths. For example, attractiveness can go beyond the physical, and a person’s worldview, sense of humor, friendliness, conveyance of safety and security, or values can be considered incredibly attractive.

Physical ideals of beauty are constantly changing. Today’s definition of beauty is vastly different to that of 500 years ago. Especially in the last decade, phenomena have emerged that were caused by social media. New beauty ideals have been able to develop in the digital space. One example of this is “Snapchat Dysmorphia.” This phenomenon affects the way dating is designed. Thus, people who use Snapchat or other social media can develop a body dysmorphic disorder. Even though their posted pictures don’t look like real life because of filters and effects overlaying the image, they want to look like their online selves. But there are also positive effects of social media on beauty norms, such as greater inclusivity. More people of color are portrayed in the media as beauty icons. This can lead us all to recognize the beauty of everyone, regardless of their heritage, culture, or genetic background. Research has shown that the more often people see the same faces, the more likely they are to find  them attractive. This could mean that cross-cultural partnerships, attraction and acceptance could be more common in the future than they are today.

In addition, scientists believe that some factors that influence attraction and choice of partner depend on evolution. Attraction is also controlled by our genes, not just our environment. Researchers found that physical signs of fertility in potential partners or mates have an attractive effect on heterosexual and homosexual men. Characteristics of this in women are, for example, waist-to-hip ratio or, quite independently of gender, age.

So it seems that age is an attractiveness factor for both women and men. In many cultures, younger women marry older men and men tend to choose younger women.

Now many are probably wondering what all this has to do with personal taste. People are attracted to a variety of features and their characteristics, and this is completely individual. Science has found that the perceived attractiveness of a person’s face depends more on the environment than on genes. Moreover, there is no standard for an “attractive” face. People disagree more than they agree about which person has an attractive face. Physical attractiveness is highly subjective.

The question of whether appearance is important to everyone can only be answered with, “It’s complicated.” However, research has shown that the physical attractiveness of a potential partner is more important to men than to women looking for a partner. Women tend to place more emphasis on qualities, that have nothing to do with the body. Examples include: ambition, kindness, diligence, humanity and kindness. However, according to this study, women also pay attention to the fact that a certain level of physical attractiveness is required in a potential partner, even if other qualities are more important to them.

As mentioned earlier, a woman’s appearance is more important to men than her character. Nevertheless, qualities such as modesty, thoughtfulness and spontaneity are also valued. These are on average the most commonly valued traits, and, of course, there are large differences between individuals, which are not reflected here. Attractiveness preferences cannot be generalized by gender. It is important to point out at this point that there are many people who do not identify as either male or female, and that these research results do not take into account these other genders, thus excluding this group. However, it can be said that the individual characteristics of a relationship partner become more important to a relationship and its success over time.

Appearance usually has more to do with attraction at the beginning of a relationship. Whether a relationship stands the test of time has much more to do with the connection of two (or more) people on a deeper level. “Love at first sight” is often about physical attraction, which many people then refer to as love. Physical attraction can create love, but it does not lead to a love relationship on its own. Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are two different things. You can be sexually attracted to a person without loving them romantically. Likewise, one can feel romantic love for a person without being sexually attracted to them.

What should be included here when considering the subject of love are pheromones. Pheromones are secreted by animals and presumably by humans to elicit social responses. The existence of pheromones is currently controversial and research is still in its infancy. However, it appears that pheromones play an important role in human physical attractiveness. For example, women’s mood, concentration and sexual response improved after androstadienone (a putative pheromone) and other hormones from men’s sweat were applied to their upper lip.  One finding in men was that they responded with higher activity in the part of the brain related to sexuality and showed other complex responses after being exposed to the smell of estratetraenol (a hormone thought to be present in sweat and other female secretions). If the research is correct, pheromones play an important role in attraction and desirability between us humans.

Conclusion:

The attractiveness of a person depends not only on his appearance and subjective assessment. It is significantly influenced by our genes and environment. We can say that one aspect of a romantic relationship can be physical or sexual attraction. Appearance can also play a role. However, this factor is not the basis of a partnership and not the origin of the success or failure of a relationship. For this, attractiveness, health, individual habits and characteristics are important factors. In addition, personal style and values play a major role.